Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I am not good at waiting

The list? Yes, the list is coming along.

But today? After speaking with my doctors office yesterday, I am thinking that today may be the day where I actually get an answer about the Thing. The C word thing.

It's been a long few weeks of tests and I hope that today will be the day where I get some much needed answers.

Because the waiting? It ain't pretty.

The waiting is torture. The limbo. The not knowing. The put a smile on your face and go out and face the world. The waiting sucks.

And how did I handle the eve of possibly finding out that I have cancer? Did I kiss my husband? Cuddle my children? Play trains with my son? No. And I'm not proud of it, either.

Instead, I had a small meltdown. Complete with some tears, a whiny voice and yes, I even stomped my foot in the middle of the kitchen.

I am 3.

Because I'm sure that stomping your foot while whining "I don't want to have cancer" is the key to the success of the Mayo Clinic.

And my wonderful K. He made me my favorite sandwich and he said "I love you. Go to bed."

So I did. At 7:27 last night, I was asleep. And I was woken up by my crying Gracie at 7:44. Apparently, the mom should not go to bed before the 3 year old. The 3 year old cannot handle a change in her routine.

Even if the mom just wanted to be 3 for one night.

But then, the sleep came. The sound sleep I desperately needed. It was like catching up on 3 weeks of sleep. I burrowed under those covers and didn't peek at the clock until 6:40 this morning.

I feel ready to face the day. Sort of.

19 comments:

ValleyGirl said...

You know I'll be praying for you.

Jul said...

Oh Lis- all of this AND Thanksgiving on Thurs for a big crowd. I'm sorry

Jul

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

Here's hoping for a big fat no. Hang in there today!

missbecky75 said...

Keeping you in my prayers and praying for a NO.
Becky

PLO said...

Gonna say some prayers for you, and put in a good word with St. Anthony, he always listens to me. Good luck...love ya! Paula

BlessedMom said...

I've added you in bold to my prayer list!

Christy said...

Praying for you!

Jenny from Chicago said...

Wow.. I am definately praying right now for you.

No matter what the answer, it's going to be okay. I've been there and back again.

Cindy said...

Praying for you right now.

chickadee said...

praying for good news for you!

happy thanksgiving.

Martha said...

I'm praying right now.......

and I wish I could come over with your favorite chippy-iced cherry coke - because I would.

But then you'd probably call the cops and get a restraining order so that crazy blog-stalker will stay 500 feet from you.

And then I'd have to drink the cherry coke. But I wouldn't enjoy it:)

I'm wishing you well a thousand times over.

xoxo,
martha

new diva on the blog said...

Adding my prayers to the many that have already been said for you. God bless you and may you be healthy, happy and safe.

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

Sending you lots of hugs, good karma, and positive thoughts.

Too bad I can't also send you a flotilla of maids and a butler to help with Thursday.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Praying, hoping, knowing God is still God no matter what the answer is.

SnapHappyInkyMomma said...

I'm thinking of you . . .

chrissy said...

Let me just add, that as many others I am praying and believing with everyone and you!! I would not be able to do all that you have and are and also handle what you are, you ARE an AMAZING woman!!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

I am certain that there are NO rules when it comes to how to "properly react" to this sort of news. So act 1, 3, 6, or 85!

I am so glad your hubby gave you rest and I am praying for you this weekend.

Darcy said...

You are in my prayers.

Mom of 2 little princesses said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. You have a new friend in Indiana who cares!!! keep us posted.