Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Did somebody say tomorrow is Thanksgiving?

God is Good!

My mass, my dark spot, is, for now, being classified as non-cancerous. The radiologist, oncologist, and my own doctor have conferred and gone over the many tests and feel that the darkness on the right lung is damaged lung tissue from a previous bout of pneumonia. The lung is a tricky thing, my doctor told me. It's not the best place to go in and just start cutting cancer out. Other parts of the body, sure they can lop off a leg if they need to. But the lungs? Much needed. And once you start messing with them surgically, removing parts of a lung...well, from what I've recently been educated on...scary stuff.

And thank the Lord, it is not stuff I need to worry about right now. And hopefully, not ever.

Thank you Lord, with every ounce that I am, I thank you.

I will be re-scanned every three months for the next year to make sure that there continues to be no growth of the darkness on my lung. That the tissue they've looked at and tested is still normal, albeit damaged, lung tissue.

And the even better news?

My lymph nodes came back clean! The tests! The sticks! The big needles! The worry! The heartache! It is gone. The lymph nodes, my lymph nodes are clean! Those carry-the-cancer-to-all-parts-of-the-body-lymph-nodes ARE CLEAN! Given that they are in such close proximity to the dark spot on the lung in question...this is just amazing news. All the more reason to believe that the lung is damaged and thickened from the pneumonia, not cancer.

To say I feel I've dodged a major bullet is an understatement. In fact, I feel bad as I write this that I am not able to properly convey my gratitude, my joy.

BECAUSE I COULD LIGHT OFF SOME FIREWORKS RIGHT ABOUT NOW!

If I drank, I might go out and get sh*t-faced. And if I was a smoker, I'd buy the biggest cigar I could find. If I was a gambler, I'd go out and let it all ride on red.

But I'm not any of those things. I'm just happy. Over the moon, hug my kids tighter, wake up with the sunrise, HAPPY!

I have been given three months in which I can say my lung is NON-CANCEROUS! Three months where I don't need to worry about leaving my children motherless. Three months where I don't need to worry about teaching K how to be a good mother to three girls during those awful teenage years that are ahead. And I just know that it will continue to be so, for many scans after that. A whole lifetime worth of scans. MY lifetime. Where I get to be the mother.

On the flip side, if the darkness on the lung becomes larger, if it does in fact, grow...I could be screwed.

But for now...I am thankful for the answers I finally have. Thankful that this week, of all weeks, I have something to be thankful for.

And you, dear internets, I am thankful for you. I cried when I saw how many people were praying for me as I went to face my news today. The emails, the well wishes, the good thoughts, and prayers. There are not words that say Thank You as much as I want to say it. Thank you.

And thank you to my K. Who walked this with me, every step of the way. He was the only person that knew, and his optimism and support were unwavering. You're stuck with me, dude.

And the list? The list is in the trash. Because does it really matter?

20 comments:

Jul said...

THANK GOD! I couldn't sleep hoping you would update with GOOD news- YOU DID and now I can rest...after I get the table set for Thursday :)
Enjoy your THANKSgiving!

Jul
XOXO

Darcy said...

Praise the Lord! I have been checking in here frequently, nervously, hoping to read good news. I will continue to pray that each scan comes back with the same good news!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

-Darcy

new diva on the blog said...

I am crying with relief as I write this to you! Thank God, and I am so happy for your wonderful news. It's crazy that if you came to my front door, I wouldn't recognize you, yet I really care that you are o.k.!
Congratulations and Happy Thanksgiving!

chickadee said...

i'm so happy for you too! weepy happy because i must be premenstrual.

my mom had a spot on her lungs about 6 months ago they thought might be cancer and we spent several scary days waiting. but they determined, as in your case, that it was scar tissue.

Martha said...

I'm sooooo happy for you!! I've been thinking of you all night!

And no. The list doesn't matter...Plus, I'll bet K is so elated that he'll take over anyway :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.
martha

Cindy said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Rejoicing with you!

missbecky75 said...

I am soooo soooo happy! Tears welling in my eyes happy. Wonderful news!

Good for you on ditching the list! Have a *HAPPY* Thanksgiving!

Love to all,
Becky

Mom of 2 little princesses said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THank you, God for peace.

Katherine@Raising Five said...

Lisa - How overwhelming! I'm so happy for you! This will be a very special Thanksgiving for you.

Love,
Katherine

ValleyGirl said...

And now I'm crying! I could NOT be happier for you if I tried! Oh, Lisa, this is just such AMAZING AND WONDERFUL news!!!! And what great timing! Your Thanksgiving will be perfect, even if your house isn't!!!

Man, Lisa, I can't tell you how excited I am for you right now! I'm doing a little happy dance with tears streaming down my face as I'm thanking God and praising Him for answering all our prayers! (well, now I'm sitting here typing, but I was just doing the happy dance!)

I wish you the best, happiest, most joyful Thanksgiving ever!!!

Family Adventure said...

Oh Lisa! I am sooooooooo happy for you! I am relieved beyond words! Truly.

You have been a champion carrying on for this long, with funny posts, when the dread and the fear must have been lurking right under the surface.

Now you can exhale, and then breathe in. A nice long breath. And know that you are here for the long haul!

Give your kids and your husband an extra special hug today.

And have the BEST Thanksgiving ever.

Heidi

SnapHappyInkyMomma said...

What WONDERFUL news! Definitely something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving . . .

Have a wonderful Turkey Day!

PLO said...

Hooray! I will have something more to be thankful for...you!

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

Oh thank goodness! What a relief for you and your family. This will be a wonderful Thanksgiving for you.

chrissy said...

Now that, just being thankful for the life we have been given, is something else to be thankful for!! Praise God, thanks for sharing and for sharing your thanks, I will hug my kids and husband a little tighter with you in mind!!
Sooooooooo happy to hear the list is ditched!!! Just family focus on the meaning and not the "stuff".

kari said...

Lisa, I'm so happy to hear your wonderful news! I've been thinking of you often and am so glad that you are okay. Have a great Thanksgiving with your family!

Tammy and Parker said...

What a simply amazing blessing.

Jenny from Chicago said...

Sheer relief. I can't even be happy...just relieved. I've been to that dark edge and I can tell you that it takes a few days to realize that you still have to contribute to the 401(k).


Phew....thanks be to God.

Mary@notbefore7 said...

YIPPEE! WOO HOO! and all things that go with it.

Praise God! So So so thankful to hear this. AND I have to admit I checked even while on my "blogging" break so I knew "back then" and was just so thrilled you could spend Thanksgiving knowing that all was fine.

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

I am so happy, friend. Nothing like a close call to make our children more beautiful, the sky more blue, and the grass more green. What a blessing.