Thursday, November 22, 2007

Cue the Montgomery Gentry music, 'cause This Is MY Town

Every year, the day before Thanksgiving, a local bar in my small town hosts its annual Turkey Testical Festival.

Yep, you read it right.

That would be a festival in honor of fried turkey balls.
Deep fried, that is.

And, I read somewhere that like 5000 people attend this thing.

5000 people?
Eating these?

Prepared like this?


I feel like at this point, I should write something funny.

But clearly, I am not at the top of my game when it comes to turkey ball humor.

Because the thought of eating a turkey's reproductive organs, frankly, makes me a little queasy.
Although, that seems too specific of a statement.

Let me broaden it to include all reproductive organs, of bird or mammal. Or reptile. Or fish. Or bug. Basically, anything that might be out there reproducing does not need to live in fear of me deciding I'd like to chop of its manhood to enjoy as a snack while I drink beer and listen to live music until 2am. Because I prefer peanuts with my beer. Or nachos.

So, even though I do not participate in the festival of the testicals, I do not mind the festive signage that pops up around my town every year.

In fact, the longer I live here, the more it feels like home.


Especially when my Thanksgiving company gets such a chuckle out of driving by these signs on their way to my house every year.


This is wrong. On so many levels. Like the fact that someone made a cartoon out of a turkey getting his balls chopped off. And I think it's funny. And the fact that I have to explain this 'joke' to my kids, because I giggle every time I drive by this sign. Because this picture is 9 feet tall and is in the center of my town. And I must drive by it no less than 7 times a day.

(Please excuse the sideways-ness of this picture. I hope you still get the idea. I've tried to fix it, but blogger hates me. And it's a holiday. And I have about 142 other things to be doing. Like cook a turkey.)
(And I don't even want to know what happened to his manhood, as long as it's not in one of those white bags I pulled out of my bird.)
(And I am writing about deep fried turkey testicals, so how picky can I really be?)

And on this day of giving thanks and being grateful for our blessings,
I am sure that someone, somewhere this morning, is very grateful that Miller bottles were $4.00.
ALL DAY!
My husband may or may not be that someone.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

42 comments:

missbecky75 said...

Yes, you are right - so wrong on so many levels. And explaining it to the kids? Hmmmm. How does one do that?!

The picture of the turkey balls - ewwww.

Hope your day goes well! Happy Thanksgiving!

becky

ValleyGirl said...

Too funny! My husband would be SO THERE -- for the turkey balls -- if nothing else than to laugh. (He's too cheap for $4 beer anyway!!) I'm definitely going to show him this!

Enjoy your day and a very happy Thanksgiving to you!!

Family Adventure said...

I love how you went from the post yesterday you wrote yesterday to a post about turkey testicles today.

The human mind - a wonderful thing :)

Have a good ball-less Turkey Day!

Heidi

Tammy and Parker said...

I wanted to let you know that YES! we got the Cocomotion.

I haven't had time to post about it yet. But I will.

It has been a MAJOR hit and something so wonderful for my kids to use while Parker and I have been in the hospital.

Thank you for such a great and generous gift.

Jenny from Chicago said...

Neighbor, first let me say that you are a gifted reporter of all things turkey-testical.

I drive by that sign roughly 5 times a year, unless the girls do a play at your local high school and then we drive by twice a day.

We need to celebrate all your good news....New Diva and I will treat!! Especially if the beer is $4.00 all day.

Jul said...

I don't know that I will ever summon up the "balls" to attend the turkey testical festival :) I will be happy to be a resident but not a participant of the town's best known event :)

Hope your Turkey day went well!!

Jul

Jenny is Live & in Color said...

OMG! This is hilarious! Thanks for sharing! I lived in the Chicagoland area for 4 years and never heard of this. I guess it didn't make the evening news :)

Martha said...

Oh.
my.
gosh.

You are the P-dub of Turkey nuts!!!
You have a brand new angle to cover!

What did the French Vegetarians think of the Testicle Parking? Ha haaaaaa! Testicle Parking! I love it!

xoxo,
martha

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

This is so wrong on so many levels. Who eats turkey balls?

Holly said...

Oh to live in YOUR town! It is funny, but so strange too, on so many levels. Here in TX we have a thing called a calf fry, which also involves reproductive organs and beer.

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