Because it would just be too easy if everyone smiled.

Wordless Wednesday

Head first is not the way I taught her to go down the hill, but she likes to do things her own way.

Two little piggys went to the orthodontist. One little piggy went home to chew bubble gum and eat popcorn, and one little piggy could not.

The giveaways have my fingers aching. But with a little luck, I'll be the lucky recipient of 7 home organizing books, 13 handmade purses or tote bags, 4 pairs of earrings, an iTunes gift card, countless Amazon and Target gift cards, a handmade dress with a pinafore for my Gracie, a pendant or 6, 37 candles, 9 hand made bead bracelets, 24 Jan Karon books, 2 wristlets, a ton of chocolate, a Backyardigans DVD, an afghan, and a mp3 player shaped like, I think, a rock?

That's cool. I like rocks.

Maybe with my new rock shaped mp3 player and my iTunes gift card, I'll download the theme song from the Clapper.

Clap On!

Clap Off!

The Clapper!

Yeah, you're totally gonna have Clap On! Clap Off! stuck in your head all day. Me too.

You're welcome.

I Think I'm Too Young To Need Retin-A

Greetings Internets. Koko here. I'm taking over the blog again today. I've got skin care on my mind.

My humans seem to think I am having a problem with premature aging. My wrinkles seem to be the topic of a lot of conversations around here. All which end with people laughing and rubbing the top of my head.

They also seem to think my skin is starting to droop a bit.

Aren't wrinkles supposed to be a sign of age and wisdom?

I'm getting older. I'm a smart pup. I think I qualify for a few well placed wrinkles. I like to think of it as my signature look.

But, I'm beginning to wonder if I should be focusing on anti aging instead of chewing the leg of the coffee table. And eating three times a day.

Today my human was on the phone and I'm pretty sure I heard the words Oil of Olay. And Nivea. I'm really starting to get a complex.

It's what's on the inside that counts, you know.

It's me again. Koko. I'm cute. Really, really cute.

I also have a serious side. I like to study things very intently. See how my forehead crinkles up when I am studying things very intently?

I am the best puppy my new humans have ever had. And the cutest too. And the best. I don't want to brag or anything, but I came to my new home on Saturday and I have not had an accident in the house yet. AT ALL. I'm just sayin'. No accidents. My new humans keep saying they are waiting for a real puppy to show up. Do you think I should pee on the rug?

This is me, waiting for cheese. Have I mentioned I love cheese? I must have been a mouse in a former life. All I know is, if you don't pee on the rug or anywhere else in this house, and you take your personal business outside, you get cheese. I prefer American, but Muenster works too. Or String. Or Monterey Jack. Do all humans have so much cheese in their houses?

My new human mom has been going on and on for a while about wanting another baby. I think I was brought in by my new dad to keep her distracted from all that nonsense talk. Piece of cake. Or should I say piece o' cheese?

I've got this lady wrapped around my fat little paw.

Hello. I'm Koko. I'm taking over the blog because I'm afraid my new human may never post again. She is too busy holding me. And kissing me. And playing with my ears. And taking my picture. And feeding me pieces of cheese. Oh, and carrying me around everywhere like I'm a baby. Which I am. But still, I'm telling you that this lady is crazy. Somebody should tell her I'm a dog.

On second thought, let's just keep things the way they are. I love cheese.

"Finding Fiona"

Congratulations Martha! You are the winner of my 100th post contest! And the new owner of a brand new TV! Get your address to me and you can ring in the New Year watching the ball drop on 15 inches of LCD flatness!

"Finding Fiona" made me imagine how I felt when I first saw my newborn baby girl, how I feel now everytime she says or does something new, something that gives me a little glimpse of her style, taste, opinions, and the woman she will become. She is trying to find something in this photo, with that intent look on her face, and it did remind me of that little fish Nemo, trying to find his own way in the great big ocean. Just like my Fiona must do for herself.

I don't know if I'll ever do another Name That Photo! contest again, because honestly, it was torture! Seriously, I have been struggling all day.

"Island Girl" by Jessie was some tough competion! I loved Island Girl, it made me feel all warm and beachy and I wanted to hop online and book a flight to St. Thomas. Seriously, Jessie? You almost nailed it with Island Girl. The only hang up was that the Island Girl? She's also a snowboarding queen. Winter time is her time. So while she definitely enjoys the islands, the beach, the sun, I know she'll never be far from a snowy hill. Not that you would've know that or anything. Oh jeez, can you tell how guilty I feel? I really loved Island Girl. I wish I had two TV's.

Other titles in there until the bitter end were:

Moonchild's "Beauty and the Beach" Because I love that movie. In fact, I am a beauty myself, married to her beast.

alwys_shoppin's (no blog, no email) "Girl Uninterrupted" Loved it! Sounded like an Angelina Jolie movie to me. And I love me some Brangelina.

Mom of 2 Little Princesses "Carefree Concentration" I was totally into the play on words with this one. Carefree, yet concentrating. Get it?

And of course, another great entry by Jessie (Jessie? Jessie? With no blog or email? Tell me who you are girl, 'cause you're cracking me up!) "Bahama Mama's Girl" This one had me chuckling all day. Just chuckling through the crowded Toys R Us today, I was. Yes indeed.

And that's all she wrote on that, folks. See you in 2008, and thanks for letting me get to know you over the course of 100 posts!

Merry Christmas to you all.

It's A "Give That Photo A Name" Contest to celebrate my 100th post!

Time's Up! Thanks for all of the great entries, I'll have a winner announced sometime tomorrow, after I finish my Christmas shopping, that is.

With the Pioneer Woman's go ahead, here is my very own version of "Give That Photo A Name!"

I love this picture. I have a large version of it leaning on the counter in my kitchen. This photo is my oldest daughter, strolling the beach in the Bahamas. I love this picture for so many reasons, I love seeing the beach, the water, and the bright sunshine every day. This picture reminds me of a wonderful vacation we had, but it also reminds me of our love of travel to different beach destinations. I love how she looks so lost in her thoughts, and I love how intently she is looking for shells with her green bucket. I also love the reminder that while we are here in the icy cold of a Midwest winter, this beach is still there, in all its warm, Carribean glory, waiting for us to visit again.

Not only do I love this picture, but I LOVE this girl. She is my oldest, my first, my guinea pig, and she is fun! She is at such a great age right now, not yet a teen, not a child, but a really cool kid. Her personality is changing and developing and I am loving getting to know her at this age. My emotions run deep for this one, she has me wrapped around her finger. We have a special bond, her and I. When I was nine months pregnant with her, I lost my grandma, suddenly and unexpectedly. It was the darkest time of my life. And this baby, my first baby, she pulled me back, she gave me my life back. She needed me. And I desperately needed her.

So your job internet friends, is to give this photo a title. What would you call it? Get those creative juices flowing, because the winner receives a prize! A prize! That you could win! You could win a TV! A brand new, still in its sealed box, LCD, flat screen, 15" TV, identical to the one I have on my kitchen counter. Cause a girl has to to keep up with an E True Hollywood Story every now and then while she's working in the kitchen.

So there you have it!

Now get busy and give me a title for that photo! I'll leave the comments open until tonight at 9pm, CST. The winner will be announced on Saturday, and one of you creative people will have a new flat screen to start off the New Year!

How's that for a 100th post?

Wordless Wednesday - Because Opening Day seems so very far away

Wordless Wednesday

Cue the Montgomery Gentry music, 'cause This Is MY Town

Every year, the day before Thanksgiving, a local bar in my small town hosts its annual Turkey Testical Festival.

Yep, you read it right.

That would be a festival in honor of fried turkey balls.

Deep fried, that is.

And, I read somewhere that like 5000 people attend this thing.

5000 people?

Eating these?

Prepared like this?

I feel like at this point, I should write something funny.

But clearly, I am not at the top of my game when it comes to turkey ball humor.

Because the thought of eating a turkey's reproductive organs, frankly, makes me a little queasy.
Although, that seems too specific of a statement.

Let me broaden it to include all reproductive organs, of bird or mammal. Or reptile. Or fish. Or bug. Basically, anything that might be out there reproducing does not need to live in fear of me deciding I'd like to chop of its manhood to enjoy as a snack while I drink beer and listen to live music until 2am. Because I prefer peanuts with my beer. Or nachos.

So, even though I do not participate in the festival of the testicals, I do not mind the festive signage that pops up around my town every year.

In fact, the longer I live here, the more it feels like home.

Especially when my Thanksgiving company gets such a chuckle out of driving by these signs on their way to my house every year.

This is wrong. On so many levels. Like the fact that someone made a cartoon out of a turkey getting his balls chopped off. And I think it's funny. And the fact that I have to explain this 'joke' to my kids, because I giggle every time I drive by this sign. Because this picture is 9 feet tall and is in the center of my town. And I must drive by it no less than 7 times a day.

(Please excuse the sideways-ness of this picture. I hope you still get the idea. I've tried to fix it, but blogger hates me. And it's a holiday. And I have about 142 other things to be doing. Like cook a turkey.)

(And I don't even want to know what happened to his manhood, as long as it's not in one of those white bags I pulled out of my bird.)

(And I am writing about deep fried turkey testicals, so how picky can I really be?)

And on this day of giving thanks and being grateful for our blessings,

I am sure that someone, somewhere this morning, is very grateful that Miller bottles were $4.00.

ALL DAY!

My husband may or may not be that someone.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

One Trip, Nine Nights, and One Starfish who is glad we came home empty handed

You know how sometimes you go on a trip with the family, and the stars just align? Everything that could go right, does?

This was one of those times.

And I know the difference, because I have had a vacation that has gone the other way. The kind where everyone is fighting, the lines are long, the kids get sick, the weather is awful, the mom is miserable, and you just want to GO HOME ALREADY.

Oh yes, I know a thing or two about those kinds of vacations. Because we went to Disney World last Christmas. And this year at Christmas, we will be staying home. And every Christmas from now until they end of time.

But not this trip.

Apparently, travelling in November, on a cruise ship, when no one is sick, and the mom is not miserable, agrees with us.

So, we sailed away. On this beautiful ship where the crew made our beds, served our food, cut the kid's food for for them so I could actually eat my own food while it was still hot, brought us drinks, and had KIDS CLUBS open for drop off anytime you wanted ALL DAY LONG. And they were happy to do it. And they knew our names. And they, and their service, were fantastic.

We found a real live star fish in the sparkling turquoise waters of the Caribbean.

The kids really wanted to bring it home, and we had to explain about the US CUSTOMS PEOPLE THAT WOULD FINE US FOR BRINGING BACK SEA LIFE THAT WAS, YOU KNOW, ALIVE! And they still didn't really see why we couldn't just BRING IT HOME, because it was SO COOL, and REAL! But we did the right thing, and left the poor, traumatized little starfish to go back to his family. Because nothing can ruin a good vacation like being detained for removing marine life from another country because you totally disregarded all the signs that said PLEASE DON'T REMOVE SEA LIFE FROM THE REEFS.

And also, the ones that said DON'T TOUCH.

And I know that the clear water looks like a swimming pool, but it really was the ocean. The clear, warm, sparkly sea in all its glory.



And here are the kids in front of The Flying Dutchman from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, because even though I tried to cram in as much time as possible a day doing absolutely nothing on the beach, I can make sacrifices so that my family can see things they want to see.

Like stop walking and snap this picture on my way to the beach.



And yes, the locals saw an American sucker who wanted her girls to JUST BE QUIET ALREADY about the hair braiding and took that opportunity to charge me two dollars a braid and then proceeded to cram about 25 or 30 braids on each of the girls' heads.


But I was on vacation.

And since we put that starfish back, I figured we had already saved a bundle on customs fines right there.

It's the Month That Never Ends

We went to the pumpkin patch and picked out our pumpkins.

We brought the pumpkins home.

We even carved the pumpkins.

We went trick or treating.

And we came home and surveyed our loot.





We did all of the traditional things that kids should do in October.
And most of them, I did with a smile on my face.
But now, this Mom is glad that Halloween is over.
Finally.

If I had not labored for 18 hours with this one, I'd wonder if she were mine

This is what it looks like when I am busy working on all my 'stuff' during the day.

And this is what it looks like when Gracie is busy working on her own 'stuff' during the day.

I'm sure you can tell that she gets her organizational skills from me.

Thank y'all for the very sweet comments yesterday. Rest assured, I am not 20.

Or even 30.

And yes I am still on my y'all kick, since it is Fall Y'all!

So be sure to come back on Monday because I will be doing a giveaway.

And giveaways are fun!

I want to give a BIG thank you to the New Diva on the Blog who awarded me this:

The best part about winning an award is knowing that someone out there is actually enjoying what you are writing. And you get to pass it on to others! And that is what I call bloggy FUN!

So, I'd love to give this to Stie, for this post. Because truer words were never spoken. Or in this case, truer pictures were never taken. And it made me laugh. Go see for yourself!

The other person I want to pass this on to is Cindy, because this post will really make you stop and think. There is so much in the news right now with the fires in California, and this post really got me thinking about what is really important. What would I grab if I had to GET OUT IN 5 MINUTES?

And like Cindy, it would not be my window treatments. Even though they are plantation shutters. And I am a bit obssessive about my plantation shutters. Because I love them. A LOT.

This week my real-life friend, Jul, launched her own blog, Mom's Side of the Story. Won't you please do me a favor and go on over and say hello?

Thanks.

Have You Ever Been To A Drive Thru Zoo?

My husband K, and my son have. And I've seen the animal slobber on my car to prove it!