I ventured out to Walmart yesterday. It was delightful.
And when I say delightful, I mean that in the most sarcastic sense of the word. Just in case you took it to mean that my little shopping excursion was indeed, delightful. It was not. Now normally, Walmart doesn't bother me all that much. I get in, I get out. It's not my first choice, but its cheap. And I am a fan of cheap. Because my husband just paid two hundred dollars over retail for a Wii.
It was very crowded at my local Wally World. I don't know if it was senior discount day or half-price Thursday, or what. I just know that elderly discount shoppers were well represented today at the old Walmart. Delightful.
I have nothing against the elderly trying to pinch a penny. If I was able to get a senior discount, I would most certainly go for it. 15 percent is nothing to snicker at. Especially if you are purchasing 64 bags of white socks to give as gifts to every member of your family. I personally do not wear white athletic socks, but five members of my family do, and they tell me they are delightful.
Despite the large crowds doing their Holiday shopping in the sock aisles at my Walmart today I actually found a great buy.
This cute, yet totally unpractical, piece of outerwear was rolled back to just 9.98. How can I not buy something that is not even ten dollars? I can not. I mean 9.98? HOLLA!
I noticed there seemed to be a bit of a back up in the check out vicinity, which I believe was probably due to the fact that older Walmart shoppers seem to STILL WRITE CHECKS. Very slowly. And they insist on filling out those pesky checkbook registers right there in line. Whatever.
And it was cute, festive even. There was music playing, the blow up snow globes had their fake snow a blowin' and the pointsettas were in full bloom. I may have even heard myself humming along to a Christmas carol.
It seems that some holiday inflatable designer person couldn't just leave well enough alone and let the reindeer pull the sleigh. Like good ol' Rudolph has been doing since the BEGINNING OF TIME.
So they went ahead and came up with this.
Look! The pink flamingos! They are blow ups too! The pink flamingos are pulling the sleigh!
Delightful!
But you know what I found that was even more delightful?
I found that if you collect and display something like this
you can actually buy this to put right in between your white church and your little country store.
Because every small village, with snow dusted trees, twirling ice skaters, one room schools and flickering lights in the windows should have its very own Wal*Mart Supercenter.
Complete with its very own delightful little greeter in front.
16 comments:
It looks like that porcelain greeter has 2 in-tact arms.
So that's not a very accurate depiction of the Walmart greeter around these parts.
Because Zuddy tells me the greeter at OUR Walmart has FINS. And he offers small children a lollipop as they enter the store. But they need to extract it from his fin first.
God is going to strike me down. I can't believe I just wrote that and that I'm going to actually publish this comment. But call it the snark in me. It's gotta be done.
Delightful!
So, here's what I want to know... how many of those blow-up things to you have in your front yard? Around these parts... there are a-plenty! :)
poor Rudolph...
Ah, your sarcasm warms my heart, Lisa. That.is.my.kind.of.humour!! Sounds like quite the adventure. I can't believe they make a cozy, cutsie Wal*Mart for people's Christmas villages. Isn't that almost blasphemous?!
So you get the village Wal-Mart for your Christmas display. The little country store promptly goes out of business, because who can compete with $9.98 vests and inflatable pink flamingos pulling Santa? A liquor store moves in where the country stores was, even though the town already has three. It flourishes, to the great consternation of the country church on the other side of Wal-Mart. Some church members start to picket the liquor store, others start to snipe at their neighbors for being so judgmental.
And thus the town is ruined. RUINED I tell you.
;-)
P.S. I have never had a Wal-Mart trip that wasn't "delightful." The sarcasm is so appropriate.
OH my! I enjoy Wal-mart most weekdays - I'll have to avoid senior thursday! :) And ousting the reindeer is downright shameful.
Nothing like taking the soul of Christmas and selling it at Walmart. I don't know what's worse - the tacky commercialism or the humor I find in it. BAD!
omg, you are HILARIOUS.
Love the vest, dispise the Santa blow up. Seriously, anything that is called a "blow up" shouldn't be in the Christmas decorations. We keep our "blow up" hidden in the closet. ;)
I appreciate you taking the time to dig up all those images (Google?), so that we really feel like we were there with you. In Walmart-land.
Excuse me while I rush out to get me some pink flamingoes.
Heidi
just found you blog. . . very entertaining, witty and wise. . i'll be coming back often!
That Walmart Supercenter village store cracks me up with it's topiaries and friendly, inviting exterior. Please don't tell me the greeter has a smile on his face too?! Because ours never do! Hillarious!
Oh, Man!! Lis- that could show up on the front lawn next door to me you know!
I wish a WalMart actually looked like a quaint shop instead of a blue warehouse rectangle with terrible parking and poor aisle navigation due to the crates of white athletic socks.
Even though I do like flamingos(yes, I admit it, and I do NOT have any in my yard), I draw a big line on inflatable-sleigh pulling ones. I think inflatable yard decor is, well, not so *delightful*.
However, your post was! :)
i am really getting fed up with all you bloggers poking fun at us "old check writers." i rarely write checks (but i will if i want to). i mostly use cash. small bills and lots of pennies. i count slowly. i was bad in math.
I'm dying, just dying here. You've summed it up very nicely.
And now I'm off to research that sleigh pulled by flamingos.
And I'm not joking.
AHHHH! Scary...truly scary. I saw someone wearing an oh so cute white zip up vest like that and I made a mental note to find one...cheap! GO GIRL! Thanks.
I have to admit that I have been without Wal-mart for just over a year now and I actually MISS it.
How many kinds of wrong is that?
Plenty.
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