Monday, September 24, 2007

Look Lunch Lady...I Promise We're Good For It.

I have about 17 drafts started and can't seem to get anything that is worthy of posting, finished. Maybe my body is rebelling against my new caffeine free diet and it is slowly shutting down. My mind seems to be the first thing going. To say I've been a bit sluggish this past week is an understatement.

You may remember that due to the recent high tide in my backyard swimming pool, I have once again swore off all caffeine. Well, this little detox of mine is affecting more than just my ability to blog regularly about something other than a flattened mouse or free giveaways. And for those screen fillers, Internets, I do apologize.

My third grader is at a new school this year. The school district we are in recently built several new schools and the kids are divided into grades K-2 at ABC school and grades 3-5 at XYZ school. My daughter started third grade this year and was nervous to be moving out of her comfort zone at ABC school, but slowly she is beginning to enjoy the 'perks' that go along with being at the XYZ school. She's 8, so I use the term 'perks' pretty loosely.

At school XYZ there is a daily choice of hot lunch options including whatever is on the hot menu for the day, such as Taco in a Cup. If, say, the Taco in a Cup is not to your liking then you can choose from salad lunch, yogurt lunch, PB&J lunch, my personal nemesis....the cold lunch, cold with milk, hot lunch with Ala Carte or cold with Ala Carte. Really the possibilities are endless. It is equivalent to the number of ways Bubba can serve shrimp.

And what constitutes Ala Carte for the 8-13 year old crowd? Why was a chocolate chip cookie. Tomorrow...a slushy. Who knows what goodness Wednesday will bring to Ala Carte land.

But my point is little 8 year old has been a regular hot luncher for pretty much...umm...her whole school life! She just likes the cafeteria food I guess. But I don't is one less lunch for me to make and so I'm all for her getting hot lunch whenever she pleases. Anything that saves me 5 minutes in the morning, I'm all for. So since starting this year at XYZ school she has been enamored with the thought of getting Ala Carte with her hot lunch. But, she has hesitated because it's a separate line...she's not sure how it works...she's not sure if they'll have something she likes....her friend is not going up to the know all the major self confidence doubts of an 8 year old.

So today....OF ALL child works up her nerve...summons all her courage...and heads over to the Ala Carte line to make that pivotal first Ala Carte purchase. And what does the lunch lady tell her? "Sorry hon, you only have .60 left in your lunch account and Ala Carte cost .75, so you can't get it today."

Beaten and deflated, my child walks to her table and eats her hot lunch, minus the much anticipated Ala Carte item.

And when she comes home from school and relays today's turn of events to me and then asks me to 'Please' refill her lunch account...I feel like the worst mother in the world.

Why didn't I add money to her account last week when I knew it was getting low? And why couldn't the darn lunch lady just give the poor girl a cookie?? I swear...we're not independantly wealthy, but we are good for the 15 cents. I PROMISE. Just give my darling child her Ala Carte item. We are heading into the critical years for building self esteem here, lady.

And I don't want to hear about teaching the kids the value of money...that would never happen in real life...blah, blah, blah. I know if she went to the store and didn't have enough money at the check out she'd have to put her items back...I KNOW THAT! But this? Sucking the life right out of her in the Ala Carte line? carefully as I tie in this heart breaking tale of lunch time woe back to my caffeine detox. Because I am crafty like that.

And I can't stop thinking about Coke morning, noon and night.

IT WAS ME...I'M GUILTY!!! I didn't refill the card. I'm sorry. I'm a loser. I AM the worst mom in the whole hot lunch buying world. I have traumatized my own child.

I'm loosing my mind due to a significant drop in the only substance my body is accustomed to surviving on. And I'm sorry. So. Very. Sorry.

So please forgive me honey, Mom's trying. I will make you a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies as soon as my brain cells begin to regenerate themselves.

Or I decide to have a pop. Which ever comes first.


Jenny from Chicago said...

This post is hysterical. I can barely type. Your poor little girl should consider herself lucky to have a Mom like you!! My kids got used to disappointment YEARS ago. I'm going to send you some linky love right now from my site.

New Diva on the Blog said...

Poor little thing, I hate when mean old meanies make little ones feel bad! I am sticking my tongue out at her right now. :p

Hope the coke withdrawl slows down soon.

Jennifer said...

I have a third grader and I know EXACTLY what you mean.

But I cannot imagine giving up caffeine. Seriously woman, how can you survive?

Magpie said...

oy. my kid isn't in kindergarten 'til next year, but i read teh whole packet that came in the mail about school starting and was fascinated about the whole lunch thing. i think, if i read right, that our district gives the kids a grace period on their account, so they wouldn't deny the kid a cookie unti they were overdrawn by like $20. that is, if i read the thing right.